Dear Mr. Boss Man…

Dear Mr. Boss Man,

I am tired.

No, not the I-stayed-up-late-and-watched-Parenthood-tired, but the bone-aching, mind-numbing, I-worked-all-night tired.

Yes Mr. Boss Man, I do have another job.

Or rather, your job, is the other job. Your job is the one that pays the bills and gives us health benefits. Your job is the one for which I went to school. Your job is the one for which I have three different certifications. Your job is the one for which I got my Master’s degree. Your job is the one for which I am back in Graduate School. I work at your job from 8:00 am to 3:15 pm. But, you see, Mr. Boss Man, your job is my second job.

My first job is 24 hours. 7 days a week. 365 days a year. Sometimes minute to minute.

Forever. And ever.

In fact last nights shifts were at 11:00 pm, 1:00 am, 3:30 am, 4:40 am, and again at 6:50 am.

I am on call. I run to emergencies. I run to cries for help. I run into the danger. Nothing is too small for me. I am on call. When called. I run. My first job is on the job training. I am still learning even almost 8 years since I’ve been hired.

I did not go to school for this. There are no schools. No college. No Graduate School. No certification. July 25, 2007 I was hired on the spot. I knew nothing, and still wonder sometimes if I will know enough. Yet it is the most important job I will ever have.

No, silly Boss Man, I am not a Superhero. I am a pancreas. Yes, you heard that correctly. I am an organ. I am my son’s pancreas living outside his body. No, I don’t actually hang on his body and pump insulin into him, but I might as well. I check his sugar (or make sure he does), then I take those results and figure out WWtPD…What Would the Pancreas Do, I make guesses and hedge my bets on setting the right formulas in my son’s insulin pump so that it can act like a real pancreas.

Yes, your job in important too. Don’t get me wrong. But there is nothing more important to me than my role as pancreas. You see, because if I screw up, there may not be a second chance.

So I will take tired. I will take sleeping short clips at a time. I will take that exhaustion that is so deep it hurts. It’s my job.

No, I’m not a Superhero.

I’m a mom, of a boy, with Type 1 diabetes. And until there’s a cure, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Love,

Me

 

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Leslie posted at 2015-1-15 Category: Uncategorized